It’s only the wind

I’m sitting on the porch tonight. I’d like to say it’s because I love the outdoors or it’s quiet and peaceful or some of that such nonsense. But that’s not me and I’d be lying. I’m on the porch because I heard a racket and had to put my ninja on and grab my stick and head out. Turned out to be a cat wrestling my cactus 🌵 🐈. Ouch.

So, I sat down to talk to the cat. Yep, I talk to the cat. Cats are very good listeners and some of them will even talk back and give you reassurance. Try it sometime. You’ll see I’m not just crazy.

Anyway, the wind. Thats where I was going with this. Something about the way its blowing took me to another time and place. So very long ago. I felt as if I was actually there. I could hear the voices, particularly a laugh that I know all too well. I could smell a strangely familiar scent. I could see and touch things as if I had been beamed over by Scotty.

This little trip I took started my wheels to spinning. What happens to people? People you become friends with, people you are related to, or are in a relationship with. When it’s good it’s good. Its always good in the beginning. Isn’t it? I’m not so sure. You think it is. But if it were really ever that good would it be possible for them to hurt you or turn on you? If you really truly love someone how do you get to a point where you can break them and live with yourself?

And when it’s not fixable and you go your separate ways and days pass and turn into months and years, are you supposed to wonder about them? Do you miss them or do you simply hope someone has made them as miserable as they made you? What’s the rule on that? What do you do with broken lives and broken hearts? What if you hate them? No, we aren’t supposed to hate. But if im being honest, I do. I think anyone who says they don’t hate probably should check their britches because they are most likely on fire.

This little trip in my mind made me somewhat sad. Almost panicked me. Sometimes I wish memory erasure was a real thing. If you’re wondering when I’m going to get to the point, I’m not. I don’t have one. I did make it a point not to stay there In those memories. I came on back to the porch. Those days are over. Get back in the house silly girl. It’s only the wind.